When you are a new mom everyone has advice whether you want it or not. When I was a new, young mom with Mia it seemed like there were plenty of mom’s giving me plenty of advice but lots of it contradicted. Paci or no paci. Co sleep or crib. Feeding schedule or feed on demand. Not to mention the bottle choices, car seat choices and on and on. It can be rather over whelming for a new mom. No matter the intentions the advice can at times be too much for new moms trying to figure this mothering thing out. I know it was for me.
Flash forward 12 years and after being out of the newborn parenting game for 9 years I am just like a new mom, except this time I am old. Not that 40 is old, but having a baby at 40 will make you feel your age. The lack of sleep at 40 is much different than is was at 31. But being older with a baby is fun. When I go to story hour or the baby playground , a lot of the mom’s with babies around Luna’s age are young. We often chit chat and I often wonder if they think I am the Grandma and not the mom.
One of my favorite places to take Luna is the story hour at the Blacksburg library. There are moms, nannies and grandma’s there, many of them young moms with one or two kids. Luna loves to play with them even though she can become quite the baby bully at times.
One mom I have seen serveral time. We always chat . Luna is just a few months older than her daughter, her first kid. The mom ask me general questions about Lu but we mostly just enjoy watching our girls play. Time passes too quickly to not watch them play.
As the young new mom and I chat, I find so much joy in listening to her talk about all her little one’s firsts. I make few comments, instead I listen. To many this may seem like a cheap and easy act of kindness but for a new mom it can be everything. I listened as she talked about her sleeping and feeding schedule. She laughed about her army crawl and rolling to get where she wants. I just listened and smiled. Remembering the joy that comes with all those firsts.
At that moment I realized something , Luna was my last. All her firsts were my last firsts. First smile, first sound, first time she sat up, pulled up and walked. First tooth, first time eating solid foods. A wave of emotion swept over me. I was so blessed to be a new old mom. To watch Luna grow, to be part of her firsts. I didn’t want the busyness of life to keep me from enjoying my last firsts the same way this new mom was enjoying her firsts. Being kind to her and just listening ended up blessing me by reminding me to take time to find the joy in the firsts just like I was a new mom.
I have run into this mom several times. Each time we smile, chat and watch our girls interact. This new mom has reminded me of more than she will ever know. An unexpected blessing through the kindness of listening.