I am going to be real. My life isn’t perfect. My marriage isn’t perfect and I have bad days. Even though my attitude about so much has changed , I am human and things happen. About two weeks ago Cesar and I had a huge fight. I felt under attack. I felt like giving up. I didn’t do an act of kindness, giving or loving that day. I felt ashamed and like a failure. And that is exactly what the enemy wants.
I know that I am not protected from attack because of my good deeds. I know that the more we do to glorify Him the more likely we will be under attack. Targeting the most important thing to me, my family. But it is during these times that I rely more heavily on him. Although I may fail, I will stay strong in my faith when I am weak.
I am thankful for friends who we can lean on during these time. When I texted a friend and asked her to please pray for me and my marriage, she reminded me of this.
I will not let Satan steal, kill and destroy my marriage. I choose to find strength in Him. I will not be ashamed or feel guilty for not getting an act of giving, serving or kindness done. I am not a failure. I am a real person with struggles, failures and fears. But this journey has taught me that no matter what I am still worthy of His Grace. I am so thankful for His grace and for friends who drop everything to offer support and love. Through love, grace and forgiveness our marriage will come out stronger. This only reminds us that without God at the center, everything else will fail, including our marriage.
So although I did not get an act of serving, loving or giving in, the lessons I learned that day, that in my weakness I am made stronger by Him, far outweigh the failure I felt all around me. Lessons in Grace, Forgiveness and Friendship. A lesson on loving even when under attack.