Last Thursday I did nothing. I left on a charter bus full of fourth graders and chaperones at 6am for an overnight trip to Jamestown. I spent the day with my son, parents, teachers and students on a 6 hour bus ride, exploring Jamestown, eating at Golden Corrall, on a Ghost Walk, and then to the hotel. By the time I laid down in bed at 10:30pm I had done nothing.
Sometimes loving, serving and giving isn’t about others. Sometimes it is about your self. You are no good to others if you don’t take care of yourself, if you don’t rest, if you don’t say no. As I laid in that hotel bed I thought about how far behind on blog posts I was. How I hadn’t done an act of kindness for the day. As I typed up a blog post that was over a week late and went to publish it something happened and it disappeared. Gone. All that work and the thought of retyping it made me mad.
And I felt bad. But then I realized that this journey wasn’t meant for me to feel bad. That God had presented me with the opportunity to serve, love and give every day if I just listened for that tug. And at that moment I knew what he wanted me to do. Rest. Really rest. Not stay up for another hour catching up. I was in a hotel bed , no baby, no kids, I had the chance to get some real sleep and I was so worried about catching up on my blog that I almost didn’t fee that tug. So I put down my phone, set my alarm, and closed my eyes. I said my prayers and went to sleep. I slept for 7 hours straight. It was the first time I had slept more than a couple hours in over a year. I woke up feeling refreshed. I knew then that God did not want me to continue this journey of 365 days of serving, loving and giving if it became a burden or caused stress. The point was to be intentional in my acts of kindess, serving and giving. To listen to those tugs at my heart.
I realized then as I woke up and reflected on my night. God was telling me something. I was no good to him if I didn’t take care of myself, if I didn’t rest. The blog could wait, I was going to enjoy this trip, serving my school, spending time with Kendal and reflecting on how I needed to serve and love myself in order to continue.
The Bible talks about rest a lot. I am going to try and honor the sabbath as part of this journey for both me and my family. It took God reminding me to rest for me to remember that I am not good to anyone if I am stressed out, tired and moody. Resting will allow me to serve Him and continue to love others. Sometimes we just have to do nothing.